Vacation Part 2

Captains Log Day 2, March 29, 2014

Honestly, these kids would be happy with a hose in the
backyard... they just love life!

We should have went to Disney, I repeat we should have went to Disney! Normally at Spring Break, we would have taken the kids to Orlando. In fact we originally planned on going to Walt Disney World, but there is no beach! Gabby and Colton always complain that they want to go to the beach and play in the sand. So in prepping for our vacation, I logged on to Dewey's reward points account, to book a fabulous beach trip in Panama! Since he stays roughly 200 nights per year in a hotel, we had enough built up to stay in a beautiful Holiday Inn, beachfront! I didn't even have to tap into our timeshare, which was awesome, because after this trip we are going to need ANOTHER vacation!

Ron Jeremy would
feel right at home!

The first hint that I had towards something being fishy (pun intended), as Dewey was checking in, was the endless train of teenagers parading through the parking lot half naked. Though, I wasn't going to let that dampen my laissez fair attitude, I mean come on, I'm a liberal, free spirited, just on the forefront of my thirties kind of girl! Plus we aren't naïve, Dewey and I both realized it was Spring Break and have been to Florida during this time before. But college Spring Break is over and this was what appeared to be a very family friendly hotel. Yet as we approached the front desk to have wrist bands snapped on us and the girl working had to question if the nine month old needed one... they haven't had any babies? I admit, I started to get nervous! Yet up to our room we headed. As we filed onto the elevator with about 10 other people, I had to clench my kid's hands tightly and say a quick Hail Mary, I was questioning if we were going to go down. I wanted to scream, please don't jump in the elevator, pleaseeeeeee quit touching buttons and it didn't help that we were way up on the 15th floor. Let's just say it was the longest, alcohol drenched, chaotic elevator ride of my life. Ahhhhhhhh! Finally we entered our room, sanctuary, peace, our own private retreat in paradise or so the website said. What I walked into was what Ron Jeremy would have thought was paradise, not me.
A lovely suite decorated in cheetah print carpeting, gold accents and floor to ceiling mirrors around the bed. Ok, I know what you are thinking, YES, Dewey was excited! As a mother there with her three children, one of whom was asking why there was a mirror above the bed, I cringed.

Maybe something to eat and a good night's sleep would make everything better! Off to the Pita Pit for dinner, which was fantastic, they need to put one in Toledo ASAP. Then a quick stop at Target to replenish our pool gear and a lengthy, entertaining drive back to the hotel. I swear to you at every corner we turned there was a Panama City Police Officer arresting someone (with a silent cheer from me). Again, we expected it, we did not however, expect there to be a swat team in the lobby when we returned. "That's it, we are going home", my eyes were literally swelling with tears. So as I frantically tried calling to find another place to go in the area, I was sorely disappointed, everything was booked. Thirty-nine minutes later, I was on the phone trying to get some help from the IHG Priority Club while the kids cried in the backseat that they wanted to swim. Then just at the perfect time, sarcasm alert, Colton's nose started gushing blood. With the phone to my ear I ran him past the security to the bathroom in the lobby for some paper towels. Mind you I was still on hold, with an extremely helpful manager who was looking at every hotel within a two hour drive for us. Back to the van, bloody nose in check, when Dewey looks at me and asks, "Where is your wallet?" OMG, I left it in the cart at Target! So back to Target we flew to luckily find it at the front desk. I just looked at the girl working and sighed, "You will never believe our day"!

With no other hotels available in the area, we cranked up the fan for noise blockage and hunkered down for the night. Although, with every toss and turn all I could see was my reflection staring back at me and saying, "Never again Lisa, never again!"

Captains Log Day 3 March 30, 2014

The amazing view from our balcony!

As the sun began to rise over the beautiful ocean view from our balcony, I almost forgot where I was. Dewey and I had decided that we were here and going to make the most of it, so I showered off the negative feelings of yesterday and got dressed. With our little bathing suit cladded brood, we hit the hotel restaurant for a delicious buffet. Hey things were looking up. There were a few other families in the restaurant and the food was amazing! The view from our breakfast table revealed a white sandy beach that was empty and calling our names. The kids couldn't get their flip flops off and wiggle their bare feet into the sand quick enough. Shell after shell fell into their buckets as they were completely oblivious to what was unfolding on the hotel balconies. As a mother it was hard to ignore the young men screaming "flash your boobies" from their balconies at 10:00 am.


Nothing bothers this baby... so happy!

So with the pool being empty (because they were all too busy sleeping off the night or yelling random things off of the balconies) we pulled up some lawn chairs and enjoyed the sun. Then the DJ opened up his booth and as he played The Lion King's "Circle of Life", which apparently is the Spring Breaker's anthem because it drew them out of their rooms faster then a race car in the Indy 500. One of the hotel managers came over and was kind enough to offer us complimentary drinks. Probably because he figured if we had a few in us, it wouldn't be so bad (LOL)! The drinks were great and we did enjoy hearing lots of hilarious stories from a few of the security guards. The best story of all though was the legend of Spring Break Jared. The man who booked a room for a week by himself just to dance pool side all day long in his Crocs. Lucky for us, Jared was about to make his Sunday morning appearance. I don't know if Jared was on an acid trip or just socially awkward? Maybe he just really, really, really likes to dance... but Jared deserves his own reality show. Seriously, if he is not a YouTube sensation already then someone needs to post quick because it was unreal. Shirtless, lobster red from too much dancing in the sun and croc adorned Jared, broke it down all day long with his sweet moves. He may be the first person to use a towel as a stripper pole and if he wasn't the teenage girl with "Lick Me" across her stomach probably was the first.



Shrimp Boat Restaurant

We made it through though and cultured our children as well. Ending the day with a fabulous dinner at The Shrimp Boat located on the bay in St. Andrew's. It was quiet, had a breathtaking view of the sunset and most of all FAR AWAY FROM SPRING BREAK CENTRAL! With a good nights sleep and a ton of checkouts today I am hoping for a much better Tuesday!!!
To Be Continued...