Generation North Face

No one makes NF look better
 then Jared Leto!

   Is it just me or have you noticed a growing trend in the suburbs… It’s called NorthFaceitis. Symptoms include owning one or more North Face jackets, wearing them all the time, boycotting Columbia and hanging out with fellow North Face wearers. Don’t get me wrong, we have them in our house too, but I still can’t help but to observe the craze. I can’t pinpoint when this all started (because when I was in school it was Starter or bust) but now a days if you don’t rock out a North Face you are either a hipster or a non-conformist. The hipsters are too trendy for the trend and the non-conformist just won't to do anything hip. Other than that, I would guess 4 out of every 5 suburban households in the Midwest have at least one North Face hanging in the coat closet.



Have you taken you North Face
Selfie today?

   My personal favorite trait of these jackets is to take someone who otherwise looks scrubby and transform them into the total opposite. Literally, I could walk into Wal-Mart with my “Mom uniform” on (remember me saying this before, yoga pants, hoody and a messy bun) and end up on one of those people of Wal-Mart websites or have people looking at me while reprimanding my children like I am white trash. However, if I throw a North Face on over top of the exact same outfit, I guarantee that people would take a look and see the symbol on the jacket, only to think to themselves, “Oh she must be classy”. Furthermore as proof I would like to share a story from a friend that verifies this bold observation.

   One day while on the phone with a girlfriend we were talking about this exact issue when she said, “I would always see the same guy walking and figured he was homeless or at least didn’t have a car, then I got a closer look and noticed he was wearing a North Face jacket. As crazy as it sounds, I thought… well he must have money, maybe he’s just walking for exercise.” I couldn't help but  laugh and although you might not want to admit it, I am positive that others out there have made this same assumption.

 

   I will give The North Face company this though, it does not discriminate. It’s no Abercrombie or Lulu Lemon that only fits 13 year old girls or extremely thin adults. I’ve seen everyone from babies to 80 year olds and sizes 0 – 20 wearing them. The company also uses recycled material to make many of their products. You can find out more at

http://www.thenorthface.com/en_US/innovation/product/. Plus they do keep you warm! But never the less, it is a fad and I wonder how long it will be till the next newest brand is being worn by all. For now though, it’s still the “it” thing to have and the brand is definitely raking in the benefits. I wonder how long it will be before some weirdo gives their baby the name North Face? Hey it could happen! Remember the Jello twins? Their first names are Lemonjello and Orangejello. Lemonjello is pronounced as Luh-mahn-juh-low and Orangejello is pronounced as Oh-rahn-juh-low!

   No one knows what the future holds for North Face and only time will tell but in the meantime try playing this game the next time you attend a High School sporting event. Count the NF jackets that go by! Look around in the stands and admire the sea of Polartec® fleece! I guarantee that you will be amused.

 

Even the Olympic Athletes sported their NF gear!

The Truth Behind Driving A Mini Van And Still Looking Cool

   Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lisa, cruising around the mean streets of Genoa in a pimped out white Lincoln Aviator. Windows down, Montel Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" blasting through the radio, a sweet pair of cheetah print sunglasses on and her hair blowing in the wind. But that was a long time ago and now she drives a mini van...




Yep... this is mine... all mine!


   Obviously I'm not the only one either. I think there is one in every driveway of my subdivision. Just this morning as I was doing the dishes, I noticed a neighbor lady taking advantage of the "warm" weather by cleaning out her mini van. One bag, two bags, three bags, four! Hey I can sympathize with her, rarely do I clean my van out without unloading a full garbage bag of cups, wrappers, school papers or one half of a pair of gloves. I have actually found missing shoes, hair bows, tools, lone cans that rolled out of grocery bags and once and only once a dried up hamburger bun that I thought was a dead mouse. It's like there is a black hole in the back that sucks objects into the cracks and corners. I heard that now Honda makes a style of van that has a built in vacuum, where was that twenty years ago? I mean all automobile manufacturers had to do, was take a poll of mothers on the needs of their vehicles and listen to them. Now that would increase their sales!

Need #1 a built in vacuum... brilliant! Apparently, this is happening now but wasn't around in time for my van purchase!
Need #2 wipeable seats, I finally wised up and got black leather this time around, but you can still see the dirt and car wipes don't always get everything off!
Need #3, a sound proof piece of glass like police cars have between the front and back. Parents know what I'm talking about, how many times on a family car ride do you here "Are we there yet?", "She's hitting me!", "I'm hungry." and the infamous "I have to pee!".

Even though the mini van could use a few more tweaks, the evolution of it just since my childhood, is pretty awesome. Remember the Astro? I have to say they are much sleeker and sophisticated now.  Although, I dreaded getting a van (I mean dreaded with a capitol D), I love mine! At first all I could picture was myself with a backseat full of kids, half of them not my own, running carpool and a row full of stick figures on the back window, driving to soccer practice. My cool status would be finished and just by sitting in the driver's seat I would age myself 20 years.

If I had to have stick figures I'd pick these!

   Signing my name to that lease gave me anxiety like no one could know! But I splurged for the Town & Country with a great package. Black leather interior, a DVD player with headphones for each kid, satellite radio, etc. After just the first week of driving it I fell in love. I mean all the mini van stereotypes went right out the window. Its comfortable, keeps the kids occupied and has storage galore. Did I mention how it puts my SUV to shame in gas mileage?                                                                                                               

   Now despite all these selling points, I still hear people say "OH MY GOD, I WILL NEVER DRIVE A MINI VAN"! My advice to you is never say never and don't knock it till you try it. If you do drive a mini van then follow my lead and tell those haters that they don't know what they are missing. Just put your sunglasses on, turn up the 90's on 9 and represent. Mini Van owners around the world UNITE!!!

H-A-P-P-Y

   Wednesday morning I woke up in a funk. Its been a rough week so far and I just did not want to get out of bed. In fact if I didn't have to get up to put Gabby on the bus, feed the baby and take Colton to school then I would have buried my head under the covers and hibernated for the day. So reluctantly, I packed the lunches and diaper bag, bundled up the family and headed out for the day. Then something happened, it was A MIRACLE. As I stepped into the cold abyss of winter, I felt something I had not felt in a long time, warmth. I mean we're not talking Orlando sun baking on my face or anything crazy like that, but there were little flecks of golden light skimming over my cheeks. Honestly, I wanted to get a lawn chair and make my way through the slush to the back deck, slather on some sunscreen and pretend it was summer. So maybe it was only 42 degrees out and not 82, but a girl can dream can't she!

   As I continued my day running errands around Toledo, feeling the rays beating through my car windows, I felt another strange sensation. Something was happening in the armpit region of my body. Through my winter layers I could sense sweat dripping. Could it be I was perspiring from an over abundance of cold weather wear? So naturally I stripped off my coat, my gloves and scarf while silently chanting, "free at last, free at last, free at last"! I rested my sickly, pale, pasty arm on the side of the car and ravished in the sun baking down on it. As I continued to drive and look out onto the roads and fields, a giant smirk appeared on my face. Goodbye snow, goodbye winter, if I don't see you again till December 2014, I'm OK with that. My mood had been lifted and I was actually starting to feel great. Months of being cooped up and snowed in had taken a toll, but now today was just the break I needed.

   Suddenly a song came on the radio, a perfect sum of my emotions at the time. Pharrell Williams, "Happy" started playing and I couldn't stop smiling! Not only could I not stop smiling, but I couldn't stop snapping my fingers to it either. So as I was stopped at a stop light doing "The Carleton" in the drivers seat, I noticed the guy next to my car laughing. This wasn't going to stop me, I was on a sunshine high and car dancing to my new jam. Plus this is why I love living in Ohio. It's been a rough winter and tomorrow its going to thunderstorm in February, but when those beautiful, perfect weather days hit us, they are appreciated. We can realize just exactly how treasured those days should be. Below is a link to, "Happy", listen to it, dance in your office, smile and remember that the sun will come out tomorrow... or in another month... but at least we will know how blessed we are when it comes!!!

http://youtu.be/y6Sxv-sUYtM

Poop in the Dogi

   Finally in bed after a day full of laundry and folding, yep eat your hearts out Real Housewives of Atlanta, you can't contend with the glamorous life of a Real Housewife of Toledo, OH! Anyways, I have been keeping up with the laundry and am lucky to just have one load on deck at a time, but I was gone all weekend and it put me so far behind! Then to top it off I discovered an extra special treat in my five year olds Karate Dogi (uniform) last night. That's right, there I was doing my suburban motherhood duty, getting involved at my children's school only to be rewarded with extra helping of laundry.

   My night started out on a positive note, we met some fellow parents and teachers for a quick bite before the PTO meeting. Colton, the "keep Mom on her toes" five year old, had a hot dog and applesauce for dinner. Now I don't know if they slipped him some Ex-Lax in that hotdog or if the applesauce had just enough fiber to send three days of poop out, but last night his stomach took on a mind of its own. I didn't notice anything at first, I was too busy getting all the latest updates on everything Genoa! Plus, I thought Colton was down in the daycare room playing with the other kids. So imagine my surprise when the meeting was over and I walked out into the hallway to fetch my children, only to spot Colton in his little, white Dogi hiding in a corner. I asked him to go get his coat on while I got his sister and after a few minutes of coaxing her to leave we headed back to grab our coats. As I gathered up my stuff, I couldn't help but notice Colton, with a nervous look on his face, clutching his stomach and I also couldn't help noticing the foul stench in the room. I just figured he was gassy and when I asked him if he had "to go" he said he wanted to wait till he got home.

   Hmmmmmmmmmm my Mom intuition kicked in and I figured something was up. The smell was getting worse. I looked at my friend as we were walking out and mouthed "I think he pooped his pants". It was either that or the Hershey bar she gave him melted all over the front of the uniform. So I took a second glance and noticed under his clenched hand crossing his stomach, there was a brown circle slowly expanding. At this moment in time two things go through every mother's mind 1) I thought my child was potty trained by now and 2) I can't wait to go home and clean this mess up... arghhhhhhh!!! So as we got in the van and the smell continued to intensify I asked my little stinker (pun intended), did you poop in your Dogi? Sure enough he did and to make matters worse, he felt like he could clean it up by himself so he took his underwear off in the bathroom, balled them up and stuffed them in his shirt. Meanwhile he thought he could hang in there till we got home, so he didn't tell me, allowing more time for the mess to increase!

  
 Two lessons were learned from last night. Lesson one (for Colton) it's OK to poop your pants occasionally... on accident. I mean I've pooped my pants, don't get too excited it was about 20 years ago but long story short we had softball practice outside of my elementary school and the doors were locked! As I felt the bubbles starting to rise, I ran from one door to the other only to be forced to pop a squat in a bush. I was a mess, my pants were a mess and I am sure every other girl out on the field thought that I fell in. By the time I was finished cleaning up, practice was over! So, yes, I sympathize... S#@! happens!!! Lesson two was for me and Moms everywhere, always keep bleach on hand. That little white Dogi had to soak all night long in a big bath of Clorox Bleach! Here's an advertisement for ya,"Clorox, get's the brown spots out from Hershey bars to poop"! So a word of advice to Mothers of little karate protégés, easy on the hot dogs and buy your bleach in bulk!

The Truth Behind Dewey Dunn and Why You Can Never Ever Let Him Watch TV after Midnight

   I have posted pics of myself during the week looking a bit rough, you know the routine Mommy's, messy bun, yoga pants and a hoody. I have to say that is my signature look Monday - Friday. However, recently I was standing in my Mother's kitchen looking exactly as described to be told that I reminded her of my great grandmother. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAPPPPPPP! No she did not just say that. Of course I couldn't help but to take a good look in the mirror after that. She was right, I was in need of a dye job in the worst possible way. Grey hair running ramped and tossed into a bun was not helping me to look young. So obviously I booked an appointment and took care of that problem ASAP! Only to fast forward four weeks later and find myself staring at those grey hairs creeping back to surround my face with aging yet again. The root of the problem is simple, genetics, kids, stress, aging, etc. or could there be an underlying issue? Possibly the cause of my grey hair could be summed up in two words, Dewey Dunn.

Check out that looker!!!

   Now do not get me wrong, I love my husband more then anything in the world. However, I have noticed a trend in his habits coinciding with the wrinkles at my brow line and the increasing amount of grey hairs being found at a quicker rate every month. Dewey has what I like to call "quirks" that I am listing here. But I wouldn't have it any other way and have learned to not just accept but appreciate everything about him, including his quirks!!!

Quirk #1: TAKING LONGER TO GET READY THEN A KARDASHIAN BEFORE A PHOTO SHOOT

She ain't got nothing on
Dewey's beauty routine!

Take for example a Saturday morning when we are headed out to run errands. He starts out on a positive note, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00 am and puts on a pot of coffee. Meanwhile I'm still in bed praying that the baby doesn't cry so I can get another hour of sleep. As I finally role out of bed around 7:00, he's still standing in the kitchen in his underwear. What he accomplished during that hour is a mystery. Next up is a trip to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later he is still on the toilet while I have accomplished feeding the baby and getting dressed. Eventually he makes his way to the shower, so I take the empty sink/mirror time to do my hair, wash my face, brush my teeth, floss, apply makeup, dress the baby, have a cup of coffee only to take a peek back in and find him just drying off. All of that is followed by a lengthy amount of time getting dressed (keep in mind that I have laid his clothes out on the bed) then he has to find his keys, wallet, lace up his boots, pour some coffee to go and here I am in the car with the other two kids dressed beeping the horn. This is not an exaggeration, this is my life! I will give him this though, he always looks good ;)


Quirk #2: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LET DEWEY LOOSE IN WAL-MART, COSTCO, SAM'S CLUB, TARGET, BASS PRO SHOP OR FOR THAT MATTER GOODWILL
He likes to remind me that I'm a shopper and I often spend too much. Usually on pay days I will get a text message as I am on my way to get groceries that says "Don't spend all of our money today" as if I am going out to splurge at Aldi's. However, this self proclaimed "saver" has a serious addiction to splurging at big box stores and on one occasion, yes, he even splurged at Goodwill! A great example is last weekend when I split away from him and the kids at Sam's Club so we could get our shopping done quicker. His only agenda was to take Gabby and Colton to hit up the sample food stands. My agenda was to only buy what was on the list and get out of there as fast as possible. After an hour and a full cart I went in search of my family to find them lapping the frozen food section in search of chicken wing (notice I said wing, they only give one) and microwaved Taquitos. They had a full cart too including a $100 blender and a $50 Tigers pullover. He lovessssss his goodies and he works hard so I let him indulge... under close supervision!!!

 

Last but not least... drumroll please,

Quirk #3: NEVER LET DEWEY WATCH T.V. AFTER MIDNIGHT
You know how you are never ever supposed to feed a Gremlin after midnight or get them wet and if you do watch out! Well, we have the same philosophy in our house, NEVER EVER LET A DEWEY WATCH TV AFTER MIDNIGHT!!! If you do be prepared for a FedEx delivery in the next 7-10 business days with some product he spotted on an infomercial. I mean if you really like infomercial products and absolutely can not live without the newest "As Seen On TV" merchandise then let him go. You could obtain a fabulous Christmas gift this way, I.e- Dewey has given me a Topsy Turvy tomato planter, Wonder Mop, Magic Bullet, Sham Wow, Heel Magic, Shake Weight and many more over the years. On that note, I will add that some of these products I did actually love!!!

 

 

Goodbye Gerber... Hello Homemade!!!

Love this book!

   I have been buying organic baby food for Easton since he was about 4 months old. Each packet cost between $1.47 and $1.99ish, depending on what store I purchased it from. It didn't seem all that expensive at first, but now that he is over 7 months and eating three meals a day, its getting pricey! So as I was enjoying an afternoon of Goodwilling with my Mother (yeah that's right we were poppin' tags like Macklemore), I purchased an awesome book for $1.50 called "Top 100 Baby Purees... 100 Quick And Easy Meals For A Healthy And Happy Baby" by Annabel Karmel.
  


Pea Puree and Applesauce

   Finally, last night I pulled it off the shelf and flagged a few recipes to try. How hard could it be? Especially since I have a Magic Bullet that my husband bought me for our very first Christmas together and yes it was from an infomercial and yes a majority of my gifts from him are also from infomercials! Actually, I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was! The results were steamed peas pureed in my Magic Bullet and apples sliced, cooked and pureed in the MB as well. I topped the applesauce with a sprinkle of cinnamon and voila... he loved it!    
   I would estimate that this will save me approximately $50 - $75.00 per month. The trade off is a very messy kitchen that I still need to clean during American Idol commercial breaks, but very worth it for nutritional purposes and all the money saved!


Awwww he likes it!



                              

                                      Not sure about this green stuff?

 
 



 

Sharpie Markers are Evil

   This morning as I was cleaning Gabby's bedroom I came across a little thing I like to call the devil's spawn, also know as a Sharpie Marker. I mean in High School I thought these things were Awesome! I had Sharpies in several colors and doodled all over my notebooks with them. I'm pretty sure I <3 ______ and Lisa & Karis BFF in multiple neon shades covered every spiral and three ring binder I had! As I got older they became useful in other ways, labeling boxes when I moved or casseroles for the freezer. Then, duh duh duhhhhhhhhhhhh, I had a child. Her name was Gabby and she discovered these nifty, little drawing tools at the age of two. One day I discovered her in her bedroom where I thought she had been playing, only to realize she found a BLACK Sharpie and "re-decorated" her beautiful mural I had painted in the nursery. I thought that first incident was a fluke (yes notice I am saying first here) my pretty princess wasn't capable of more destruction like that.

   There were more, ohhhhhh were there more and not just incidents but children too! Along came Colton, my sweet little baby boy who cherished his mother and would never do anything at all to cause me stress. Please tell me you are hearing the sarcastic tone coming through? One afternoon Dewey dropped me off at the door of a local grocery store so I could quickly grab a few things. I came out to find my little darling, still strapped in his carseat, giving the Chevy Cruz's rear seat a makeover. Mind you this was Dewey's brand new car. I know, I know, you are asking yourself 1) Why does she leave Sharpies where her kids can get them? and 2) Where was Dewey while this was happening, I mean a Chevy Cruz is a compact car?

This is not my kid but I sympathize!

  
   Well kids are sneaky and Dewey probably dozed off, not too mention that he uses Sharpies for work on a daily basis. So no matter how many times I hide, throw out, burn, discard, give away, etc. they always seemed to pop up somewhere, somehow. Like the time yet another one of these little stinkers crept into my beautiful SUV (you know the one with the cream colored leather seats) and was used for another masterful masterpiece created by our eldest prodigy, she drew a big smiley face on the back of my headrest. In simpler terms, sharpies are to the Dunn household what ants are to a picnic.
  
   This all brings me back to finding one today. Over the years I have learned my lesson, don't buy them, don't bring them home from work, don't even look down that aisle at Wal-Mart. So where did it come from? Is there a conspiracy theory involving Sharpie markers trying to create nervous breakdowns in parents? I don't know, there may be or maybe we just have bad luck with them. I can assure you though that I snatched that marker up today and ran it out of town. The last thing I need is to have the signature of a five year old Picasso wannabe on my lovely, new, taupe walls. So until they are erasable, the ban continues...

8 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Tonight Instead of Watching The Super Bowl

   I expect there will be very few people excited to read this, however, I can not help myself, I must express my disinterest for The Super Bowl. I mean sure the half time show is usually great, but I can catch that tomorrow on YouTube. The commercials can be equally as entertaining but watching a game solely for the commercials seems like a complete waste of time. Not too mention that I got on the scale at the doctors office yesterday and there is nooooooooooooo way that I need to attend a party and snack, snack, snack! So while there are parties to be attended and queso to be eaten, I will be at home watching Downton Abbey drinking my Herbalife shake!

Just say NO to Queso!

Although if I could, I would do any one of the following things instead as well;

1. Get a pedicure, manicure, haircut, eyebrow wax, I'd even get a colon cleanse instead!

2. Go to the movies... by myself. Actually I did this 2 years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, I went to the theater and was surprised how many other patrons were there during the biggest game of the year. 

3. Grocery shop. Including but not limiting too purchasing embarrassing items like tampons, Preperation H, prune juice and size DD bras that pretty much cover the entire conveyer belt at Wal-Mart.

4. Clean my house and I mean deep clean, move the stove, under the couch cushion, the kids bathroom toilet that seriously has a daily crust of urine around the base!

5. Go on vacation, now according to my Dad, vacation means to vacate your mind. So not necessarily getting on a plane to Florida (although I wish I was) but reading a book, blogging, heck even playing Candy Crush or Kingdoms of Camalot!!!

6. Doing laundry and that includes pre-treating the skidded up tighty whities in this house!

7. Clean out and cut my husbands toenails and yes I do this on a regular basis for him... wife of the year right here!!!

I need to order Dewey one of these!

8. Last but not least, I would honestly rather sit on the "It's a Small World After All" ride at Disney over and over and over and over and over again, till the song is so embedded in my head that I want to gauge my ears out!

HAPPY SUPER BOWL SUNDAY :)