The Truth Behind Driving A Mini Van And Still Looking Cool

   Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lisa, cruising around the mean streets of Genoa in a pimped out white Lincoln Aviator. Windows down, Montel Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" blasting through the radio, a sweet pair of cheetah print sunglasses on and her hair blowing in the wind. But that was a long time ago and now she drives a mini van...




Yep... this is mine... all mine!


   Obviously I'm not the only one either. I think there is one in every driveway of my subdivision. Just this morning as I was doing the dishes, I noticed a neighbor lady taking advantage of the "warm" weather by cleaning out her mini van. One bag, two bags, three bags, four! Hey I can sympathize with her, rarely do I clean my van out without unloading a full garbage bag of cups, wrappers, school papers or one half of a pair of gloves. I have actually found missing shoes, hair bows, tools, lone cans that rolled out of grocery bags and once and only once a dried up hamburger bun that I thought was a dead mouse. It's like there is a black hole in the back that sucks objects into the cracks and corners. I heard that now Honda makes a style of van that has a built in vacuum, where was that twenty years ago? I mean all automobile manufacturers had to do, was take a poll of mothers on the needs of their vehicles and listen to them. Now that would increase their sales!

Need #1 a built in vacuum... brilliant! Apparently, this is happening now but wasn't around in time for my van purchase!
Need #2 wipeable seats, I finally wised up and got black leather this time around, but you can still see the dirt and car wipes don't always get everything off!
Need #3, a sound proof piece of glass like police cars have between the front and back. Parents know what I'm talking about, how many times on a family car ride do you here "Are we there yet?", "She's hitting me!", "I'm hungry." and the infamous "I have to pee!".

Even though the mini van could use a few more tweaks, the evolution of it just since my childhood, is pretty awesome. Remember the Astro? I have to say they are much sleeker and sophisticated now.  Although, I dreaded getting a van (I mean dreaded with a capitol D), I love mine! At first all I could picture was myself with a backseat full of kids, half of them not my own, running carpool and a row full of stick figures on the back window, driving to soccer practice. My cool status would be finished and just by sitting in the driver's seat I would age myself 20 years.

If I had to have stick figures I'd pick these!

   Signing my name to that lease gave me anxiety like no one could know! But I splurged for the Town & Country with a great package. Black leather interior, a DVD player with headphones for each kid, satellite radio, etc. After just the first week of driving it I fell in love. I mean all the mini van stereotypes went right out the window. Its comfortable, keeps the kids occupied and has storage galore. Did I mention how it puts my SUV to shame in gas mileage?                                                                                                               

   Now despite all these selling points, I still hear people say "OH MY GOD, I WILL NEVER DRIVE A MINI VAN"! My advice to you is never say never and don't knock it till you try it. If you do drive a mini van then follow my lead and tell those haters that they don't know what they are missing. Just put your sunglasses on, turn up the 90's on 9 and represent. Mini Van owners around the world UNITE!!!