Spring Break Survival Guide and Wrap Up (Part 3)

I will say this... what a beautiful view!

Since we returned from Florida, I haven't had the energy to sit down and write a vacation wrap up. Although I have run into many people or gotten texts asking what happened next. Apparently my last blog was a little bit of cliff hanger! How do I even follow that up though??? Literally it was like I was in the movie National Lampoon's Vacation, you know, the one where when they finally get to Wally World, Clark punches the moose in face and takes the security officer hostage. That was what our vacation felt like, it was one thing after another and I really just wanted to punch something or someone HARD! There is nothing worse then spending a lot of time and money to drive half way across the country and be miserable! Although, I will say things got better, our vacation motto was, "It is what it is, so let's make the best of it"! So if you are headed to the beach anytime soon or just find yourself taking a vacation from Hell, here are some tips to help you through it!

1. ALWAYS KEEP WINDEX OR VINEGAR (OR A FULL BLADDER) ON HAND AT THE 

"Mom... I can't feel my arms!"

BEACH - Trust me when your five year old gets stung by a jelly fish and you have to drag him through the sand while he is crying that his entire body hurts and he can't move. All while parting the red sea of drunken teenagers just to get back to the hotel, then have to wait while a rescue call is placed to the life guard station, you will have wished that you had a bottle of vinegar on hand from the get go because a drop of that and a push pop was the remedy of choice. Of course a full bladder works too when in a pinch. Maybe I should have just dropped my pants and peed on him, honestly I don't think anyone was sober enough to have noticed.

Alligator hunting at St. Andrews State Park

2. WHEN THINGS GET TOO ROWDY, FIND A STATE PARK - Amen for Panama City having an amazing state park, St. Andrews because for $8.00 we were able to take our whole family for the day to enjoy peace and quiet!!! No spring breakers there, just a private beach, lots of sea shells and an amazing escape from the crazy tourists.

3. EMBRACE THE SMELL OF CHLORINE - When the pool has chlorine so strong that it burns your eyes and your hair turns a little green by the end of the week, be thankful. Usually my fears of public pools are limited to finding a "Baby Ruth" floating to the surface or wading through a warm spot. After this vacation, I am now worried about other bodily fluids from the non diapered swimmers. After chatting with a security guard and hearing how he had to break up two college kids in the deep end getting their groove on, the week before, I thank the pool God's for an ample amount of chemicals.

4. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND - God knows I do not suffer from this problem but many people would have just let their vacation be ruined and not say anything. Not this Mama... I made sure to let the management know, in a polite way, that they need to WARN families about the chaos going on in their establishment. Plus the warning needs to be made well in advance, not as you check in via a waiver form, stating that you know its spring break! Once you are there its too late!!! The hotel graciously comped us free brunch and drinks daily and did the best they could make us feel comfortable. Everytime I picked up the phone to call the front desk, Dewey would cringe a little, but I felt obligated to make sure that 1. we were getting the best vacation possible in the situation and 2. that this would not happen to families in the future!

These are two little beach bums that will NOT
be going on spring break until they are 21!

5. DO NOT LET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS GO ON SPRING BREAK ALONE AND DO NOT BE THE FOOLISH PARENTS THAT TAKE THEM AND PARTY WITH THEM - I do not give two hoots or a rats fat rump if they are 18 years old. No one who is in high school still should be allowed to;
A) Drive to Florida without a parent/guardian... especially with spring break traffic and other teens in the car. DANGEROUS!!!
B) Rent a hotel room in their own name.
C) Drink underage on the beach to the point where they just pass out and random guys drag them back to the hotel (yes, the security guards say that this happens often)... I am sorry and this may not be a popular post with some people but what we witnessed was disgusting. Keep Spring Break for the college kids and if your children are Seniors in HS then take them with you and enjoy one last family vacation before they are out of the house!



Luckily, Dewey treated me to a
lovely stay at the Crowne Plaza
in Atlanta on our way home..
complete with room service!

6. STAY AWAY FROM PANAMA CITY FROM MARCH 1st TO AT LEAST APRIL 15th - If you are looking for tranquility, peace, family time, enjoyment, relaxation, etc. but if you want to party like a rock star and are 21 or over, try it out... I will pray for you!