The Truth Behind Dewey Dunn and Why You Can Never Ever Let Him Watch TV after Midnight

   I have posted pics of myself during the week looking a bit rough, you know the routine Mommy's, messy bun, yoga pants and a hoody. I have to say that is my signature look Monday - Friday. However, recently I was standing in my Mother's kitchen looking exactly as described to be told that I reminded her of my great grandmother. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAPPPPPPP! No she did not just say that. Of course I couldn't help but to take a good look in the mirror after that. She was right, I was in need of a dye job in the worst possible way. Grey hair running ramped and tossed into a bun was not helping me to look young. So obviously I booked an appointment and took care of that problem ASAP! Only to fast forward four weeks later and find myself staring at those grey hairs creeping back to surround my face with aging yet again. The root of the problem is simple, genetics, kids, stress, aging, etc. or could there be an underlying issue? Possibly the cause of my grey hair could be summed up in two words, Dewey Dunn.

Check out that looker!!!

   Now do not get me wrong, I love my husband more then anything in the world. However, I have noticed a trend in his habits coinciding with the wrinkles at my brow line and the increasing amount of grey hairs being found at a quicker rate every month. Dewey has what I like to call "quirks" that I am listing here. But I wouldn't have it any other way and have learned to not just accept but appreciate everything about him, including his quirks!!!

Quirk #1: TAKING LONGER TO GET READY THEN A KARDASHIAN BEFORE A PHOTO SHOOT

She ain't got nothing on
Dewey's beauty routine!

Take for example a Saturday morning when we are headed out to run errands. He starts out on a positive note, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00 am and puts on a pot of coffee. Meanwhile I'm still in bed praying that the baby doesn't cry so I can get another hour of sleep. As I finally role out of bed around 7:00, he's still standing in the kitchen in his underwear. What he accomplished during that hour is a mystery. Next up is a trip to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later he is still on the toilet while I have accomplished feeding the baby and getting dressed. Eventually he makes his way to the shower, so I take the empty sink/mirror time to do my hair, wash my face, brush my teeth, floss, apply makeup, dress the baby, have a cup of coffee only to take a peek back in and find him just drying off. All of that is followed by a lengthy amount of time getting dressed (keep in mind that I have laid his clothes out on the bed) then he has to find his keys, wallet, lace up his boots, pour some coffee to go and here I am in the car with the other two kids dressed beeping the horn. This is not an exaggeration, this is my life! I will give him this though, he always looks good ;)


Quirk #2: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LET DEWEY LOOSE IN WAL-MART, COSTCO, SAM'S CLUB, TARGET, BASS PRO SHOP OR FOR THAT MATTER GOODWILL
He likes to remind me that I'm a shopper and I often spend too much. Usually on pay days I will get a text message as I am on my way to get groceries that says "Don't spend all of our money today" as if I am going out to splurge at Aldi's. However, this self proclaimed "saver" has a serious addiction to splurging at big box stores and on one occasion, yes, he even splurged at Goodwill! A great example is last weekend when I split away from him and the kids at Sam's Club so we could get our shopping done quicker. His only agenda was to take Gabby and Colton to hit up the sample food stands. My agenda was to only buy what was on the list and get out of there as fast as possible. After an hour and a full cart I went in search of my family to find them lapping the frozen food section in search of chicken wing (notice I said wing, they only give one) and microwaved Taquitos. They had a full cart too including a $100 blender and a $50 Tigers pullover. He lovessssss his goodies and he works hard so I let him indulge... under close supervision!!!

 

Last but not least... drumroll please,

Quirk #3: NEVER LET DEWEY WATCH T.V. AFTER MIDNIGHT
You know how you are never ever supposed to feed a Gremlin after midnight or get them wet and if you do watch out! Well, we have the same philosophy in our house, NEVER EVER LET A DEWEY WATCH TV AFTER MIDNIGHT!!! If you do be prepared for a FedEx delivery in the next 7-10 business days with some product he spotted on an infomercial. I mean if you really like infomercial products and absolutely can not live without the newest "As Seen On TV" merchandise then let him go. You could obtain a fabulous Christmas gift this way, I.e- Dewey has given me a Topsy Turvy tomato planter, Wonder Mop, Magic Bullet, Sham Wow, Heel Magic, Shake Weight and many more over the years. On that note, I will add that some of these products I did actually love!!!