Poop in the Dogi

   Finally in bed after a day full of laundry and folding, yep eat your hearts out Real Housewives of Atlanta, you can't contend with the glamorous life of a Real Housewife of Toledo, OH! Anyways, I have been keeping up with the laundry and am lucky to just have one load on deck at a time, but I was gone all weekend and it put me so far behind! Then to top it off I discovered an extra special treat in my five year olds Karate Dogi (uniform) last night. That's right, there I was doing my suburban motherhood duty, getting involved at my children's school only to be rewarded with extra helping of laundry.

   My night started out on a positive note, we met some fellow parents and teachers for a quick bite before the PTO meeting. Colton, the "keep Mom on her toes" five year old, had a hot dog and applesauce for dinner. Now I don't know if they slipped him some Ex-Lax in that hotdog or if the applesauce had just enough fiber to send three days of poop out, but last night his stomach took on a mind of its own. I didn't notice anything at first, I was too busy getting all the latest updates on everything Genoa! Plus, I thought Colton was down in the daycare room playing with the other kids. So imagine my surprise when the meeting was over and I walked out into the hallway to fetch my children, only to spot Colton in his little, white Dogi hiding in a corner. I asked him to go get his coat on while I got his sister and after a few minutes of coaxing her to leave we headed back to grab our coats. As I gathered up my stuff, I couldn't help but notice Colton, with a nervous look on his face, clutching his stomach and I also couldn't help noticing the foul stench in the room. I just figured he was gassy and when I asked him if he had "to go" he said he wanted to wait till he got home.

   Hmmmmmmmmmm my Mom intuition kicked in and I figured something was up. The smell was getting worse. I looked at my friend as we were walking out and mouthed "I think he pooped his pants". It was either that or the Hershey bar she gave him melted all over the front of the uniform. So I took a second glance and noticed under his clenched hand crossing his stomach, there was a brown circle slowly expanding. At this moment in time two things go through every mother's mind 1) I thought my child was potty trained by now and 2) I can't wait to go home and clean this mess up... arghhhhhhh!!! So as we got in the van and the smell continued to intensify I asked my little stinker (pun intended), did you poop in your Dogi? Sure enough he did and to make matters worse, he felt like he could clean it up by himself so he took his underwear off in the bathroom, balled them up and stuffed them in his shirt. Meanwhile he thought he could hang in there till we got home, so he didn't tell me, allowing more time for the mess to increase!

  
 Two lessons were learned from last night. Lesson one (for Colton) it's OK to poop your pants occasionally... on accident. I mean I've pooped my pants, don't get too excited it was about 20 years ago but long story short we had softball practice outside of my elementary school and the doors were locked! As I felt the bubbles starting to rise, I ran from one door to the other only to be forced to pop a squat in a bush. I was a mess, my pants were a mess and I am sure every other girl out on the field thought that I fell in. By the time I was finished cleaning up, practice was over! So, yes, I sympathize... S#@! happens!!! Lesson two was for me and Moms everywhere, always keep bleach on hand. That little white Dogi had to soak all night long in a big bath of Clorox Bleach! Here's an advertisement for ya,"Clorox, get's the brown spots out from Hershey bars to poop"! So a word of advice to Mothers of little karate protégés, easy on the hot dogs and buy your bleach in bulk!