The Dirty Thirty

   Well I just got out of the shower #winning and yes I know its 1:00 pm, but hey its Saturday, cut me some slack! So as I was drying off in front of the mirror (Who's idea was it to put mirrors in bathrooms where you stand naked everyday? Oh that's right, the same person who thought it was smart to keep a scale in there!) and as I stood there a thought occurred to me, "I'm getting old(er)"! Now calm down baby boomer generation, I know what you are going to say so I will stop you. Thirty is not old. I mean if Beyoncé and JT are mid thirties and can still shake it like they do then I agree, thirty is the new 20, but apparently God missed the memo because this lady is aging! Yes, yes, the signs are minor but they are there. So I will keep dying my hair, taking vitamins and continue my quest to be healthier but in the meantime here are the seven signs that you are about to hit thirty, are thirty or hit the dirty thirty longgggggggg ago!

1. You do not get carded anymore. At one point this was annoying but now you secretly keep your fingers crossed behind your back, hoping that the bartender cards you!
2. There are moles appearing in places on your body that you never had before. Score an extra point for aging if they are hangy moles (thank you to my mother who passed down only one thing from her gene pool... not the tiny feet or hand... not the petite stature... nooooo freakin' hangy moles!)
3. They are playing songs from your childhood on the oldies station. Just stay cool and turn on the top 40 station when you are stopped at a red light... people will never know your real age!
4. You are making more frequent visits to the hair dresser or the store for hair dye (and the color has to sit wayyyyyy longer). HELLOOOOOO greys!!!
5. There are "smile" lines on your face.
6. Shoveling the sidewalk causes you to call off work the next day and lay on the heating pad for relief because 5 minutes of that and you are down for the count.
7. When you are filling out an online form and click on the age tab, you have to scroll down so far to find your year of birth that you get dizzy. BONUS... the minimum age for the form is 18 and the year of birth (located  right at the top) for those young whipper snappers is 1996!