Buttcracks Are Awkward

Dude, no one wants to see this!

Today I ventured out with three children to pick a few thing up at Wal-Mart. It was extremely pleasant shopping on a Tuesday morning. No crowds, no lines, just me, the kids and a few elderly people in awe of my happy baby! We were in, we were out, groceries and subway in hand all ready to eat lunch. Then it happened. I walked out the big double doors at the front of the store, the sun streaming down on my face, a beautiful day ruined by the sight of a woman bent over with her entire crack exposed. It was like a train wreck. I didn't want to stare but I couldn't take my eyes off of it. As this incident was unfolding through my head ran the same thought over and over, "why can't people wear pants that cover their butts?" My appetite vanished quickly and as I loaded up the groceries hoping to avoid anymore rear

Even If You Are Blond
& Skinny, It's Still Gross!

end exposure, I pondered this awkward occurrence.




The "Mom" Crack...
Bending down to help
Your child is no excuse!

I mean lets face it, this isn't the first time I have been subjected to some random stranger's booty. You will never find me mooning the public. Dewey always makes fun of me for wearing my pants too high, although, I say... its at my natural waistline.!But I will take high waisted, grandma pants over low rise, crack showers any day. Maybe more people should take my pant wearing strategy and put it into practice because it is reallyyyyyyyyyyyy awkward when you are an adult and that much skin is showing on your tushy. It makes people uncomfortable. Seriously. So the next time you are getting dressed, pull up your pants, secure them with a belt, zip them tight, just do whatever you have to do to keep them up! Most importantly remember the age old saying from what I'm sure was a very wise man... "Crack Kills"! 

Now This Crack Is OK :)

You Can't Pick Your Family But You Can Pick Your Friends!!!

 

VACATION FUN!

So we have been in a slump at the Dunn house this week, lots and lots of vomiting. Nothing makes you feel less like blogging then being stuck in the house for a week with sick kids! I just have not had any motivation for a new story... then I looked out into the driveway and saw a little white Ford Ranger. That Ford Ranger does not belong to us, it belongs to the Reetz family. Being reminded of the fact that they always lend us their spare truck (with no questions asked) made me think that its about time for a blog about true friends.


One night after Dewey and I had first started dating, he took me to

Yes... we did this!

meet his best friend, Angie (Reetz) Baltzell. He had already told me the back story, they grew up as neighbors, went to school together, partied together, watch Saved By The Bell after school and ate pizza rolls side by side. He practically lived at her house. Not only was Dewey close with her and her brother Joe, throughout childhood, but as they got older he became friends with Angie's husband, Josh, as well. In fact he did actually live with Josh and Joe for a time and I believe was their built in dishwasher, something along the lines of "will wash dishes for cigarettes or pizza". Of course that was a long time ago, when everyone was young and single! Not to get off track though, I will go back to the first night I was introduced to them. I'm not exactly sure what we did that night or what was said but I remember leaving the house thinking that they were really nice and hoping they liked me. I don't know if they did at the time, or what they thought, I'm not sure I want to know. What I do know is that they were destined to be in my life.

BFF's

I'm a big believer in the saying "blood is thicker then water", mostly because its true. Family is family and there is a bond that is stronger then even the best friendship. However, your family doesn't always share your blood. Sometimes you're not born into a family, the family just finds you. This is what happened in this case. People who always loved my husband like family, welcomed me into their lives and became so much more then just my friends. They have always been there to support and love us through all of our struggles, joys, hard times and triumphs. They have let both Dewey and I crash on their couch, stood by us at our wedding, fed us more times then I can count (although that's usually Joe's forte), helped us clean our house for parties and never missed a chance to support us! There are few people in my life who I am OK with seeing my house in chaos or who I feel except me in my sweats or in my dress clothes just the same. There are even fewer that I could call to say, "I'm never going to be ready for this party, pleaseeeeeeeee come help!" they are among the elite! I'm pretty sure they are the only people to know that I have hidden a bin full of dirty dishes under the sink five minutes before 50 people showed up for a party and yes that was an all time low point in my life.


Me and Ang

When Gabby was born, I think they were just as excited as we were. Of course we made Josh and Angie her Godparents and could not have chosen wiser. Anytime Gabby has had an important moment in her life they have been there to support her. I know that as she grows older she will always have an extra set of "parents" in her corner. Our boys are best friends and Colton idolizes their son! There is hardly a day that goes by where he doesn't ask when he can play hockey with Jackson next. Then there is the fact that they bestowed the huge honor of making us Godparents for the first time. I could not have been more thrilled since he is my only Godchild and the most hilarious kid I know, we love you Grayson!

Mostly I love them because they have always loved my husband through the good and the bad. Believe it or not Dewey wasn't always a saint (wink, wink)!!! I know friends come and go but your family is with you through it all and they have proven that time and time again. My wish is that our families grow old together, we sit through our kids birthdays, graduations, weddings and more by each others sides and that everyone can be as lucky as we are to find forever friends who become your family!


The second generation of BFF's



Our Kids

Spring Break Survival Guide and Wrap Up (Part 3)

I will say this... what a beautiful view!

Since we returned from Florida, I haven't had the energy to sit down and write a vacation wrap up. Although I have run into many people or gotten texts asking what happened next. Apparently my last blog was a little bit of cliff hanger! How do I even follow that up though??? Literally it was like I was in the movie National Lampoon's Vacation, you know, the one where when they finally get to Wally World, Clark punches the moose in face and takes the security officer hostage. That was what our vacation felt like, it was one thing after another and I really just wanted to punch something or someone HARD! There is nothing worse then spending a lot of time and money to drive half way across the country and be miserable! Although, I will say things got better, our vacation motto was, "It is what it is, so let's make the best of it"! So if you are headed to the beach anytime soon or just find yourself taking a vacation from Hell, here are some tips to help you through it!

1. ALWAYS KEEP WINDEX OR VINEGAR (OR A FULL BLADDER) ON HAND AT THE 

"Mom... I can't feel my arms!"

BEACH - Trust me when your five year old gets stung by a jelly fish and you have to drag him through the sand while he is crying that his entire body hurts and he can't move. All while parting the red sea of drunken teenagers just to get back to the hotel, then have to wait while a rescue call is placed to the life guard station, you will have wished that you had a bottle of vinegar on hand from the get go because a drop of that and a push pop was the remedy of choice. Of course a full bladder works too when in a pinch. Maybe I should have just dropped my pants and peed on him, honestly I don't think anyone was sober enough to have noticed.

Alligator hunting at St. Andrews State Park

2. WHEN THINGS GET TOO ROWDY, FIND A STATE PARK - Amen for Panama City having an amazing state park, St. Andrews because for $8.00 we were able to take our whole family for the day to enjoy peace and quiet!!! No spring breakers there, just a private beach, lots of sea shells and an amazing escape from the crazy tourists.

3. EMBRACE THE SMELL OF CHLORINE - When the pool has chlorine so strong that it burns your eyes and your hair turns a little green by the end of the week, be thankful. Usually my fears of public pools are limited to finding a "Baby Ruth" floating to the surface or wading through a warm spot. After this vacation, I am now worried about other bodily fluids from the non diapered swimmers. After chatting with a security guard and hearing how he had to break up two college kids in the deep end getting their groove on, the week before, I thank the pool God's for an ample amount of chemicals.

4. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND - God knows I do not suffer from this problem but many people would have just let their vacation be ruined and not say anything. Not this Mama... I made sure to let the management know, in a polite way, that they need to WARN families about the chaos going on in their establishment. Plus the warning needs to be made well in advance, not as you check in via a waiver form, stating that you know its spring break! Once you are there its too late!!! The hotel graciously comped us free brunch and drinks daily and did the best they could make us feel comfortable. Everytime I picked up the phone to call the front desk, Dewey would cringe a little, but I felt obligated to make sure that 1. we were getting the best vacation possible in the situation and 2. that this would not happen to families in the future!

These are two little beach bums that will NOT
be going on spring break until they are 21!

5. DO NOT LET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS GO ON SPRING BREAK ALONE AND DO NOT BE THE FOOLISH PARENTS THAT TAKE THEM AND PARTY WITH THEM - I do not give two hoots or a rats fat rump if they are 18 years old. No one who is in high school still should be allowed to;
A) Drive to Florida without a parent/guardian... especially with spring break traffic and other teens in the car. DANGEROUS!!!
B) Rent a hotel room in their own name.
C) Drink underage on the beach to the point where they just pass out and random guys drag them back to the hotel (yes, the security guards say that this happens often)... I am sorry and this may not be a popular post with some people but what we witnessed was disgusting. Keep Spring Break for the college kids and if your children are Seniors in HS then take them with you and enjoy one last family vacation before they are out of the house!



Luckily, Dewey treated me to a
lovely stay at the Crowne Plaza
in Atlanta on our way home..
complete with room service!

6. STAY AWAY FROM PANAMA CITY FROM MARCH 1st TO AT LEAST APRIL 15th - If you are looking for tranquility, peace, family time, enjoyment, relaxation, etc. but if you want to party like a rock star and are 21 or over, try it out... I will pray for you!